Introducing a new sibling
Introducing a new baby to the family can be a huge transition for EVERYONE!
As with any major change, bringing home a baby is a sudden shift in family dynamics, no matter how much we have tried to prepare. Overnight, our children notice a difference in their parent's attention and they certainly feel the shake-up to their day-to-day life. We may see BIG feelings of confusion, insecurity, sadness, frustration, loss, and jealousy begin to surface for our older children. It is very normal for parents to also find this time challenging as they adjust to support their new family unit.
During this time of transition, it is common for older children to become out of balance and experience increased behavioural challenges, developmental regression, separation anxiety, and sleep disruption. Off-track behaviour, defiance, tantrums, aggression, and crying for what seems like no reason are your child's ways of alerting you to an unmet need and their need for connection. Keeping in mind that this is a huge change for you and them, they will have many mixed feelings, and are now vying for your attention; your little one is looking for safety to express their BIG feelings.
This behavior can be triggering for new and exhausted parents fumbling their way through this transition, often finding themselves to be extremely sleep-deprived and depleted, without the tools to manage or the spaciousness and capacity to hold space for the BIG feelings.
Connection Village is here to support you every step of the way. We are here to guide you, help you prepare, and best manage welcoming a new little baby to your family.
Here are our top tips to help prepare your little one for the arrival of their new sibling.
Reading toddler-friendly books
Spending time reading is a great way to cuddle up and connect with our children. In the lead up to the arrival of your baby, reading books like "Baby Dear", "Hello Baby", and my personal favourite, "There's a House Inside My Mummy" can be an effective way to help prepare children for the arrival of a new sibling. This can also encourage you and your child to talk about any BIG feelings they may have before they even meet their new sibling.
Role-playing Games and Activities
Children are emotional learners, and they often express their feelings through play, especially when they feel safe with a parent's loving presence. Role-reversal games, where your child becomes the adult and you become the baby, can be empowering for them and give you insight into their world.
Giving your child a new doll or soft toy animal to care for, such as putting their "baby" to bed, feeding them, bathing them, and playing with them, can be an excellent way to role model. You can teach them how to show kindness, compassion, and empathy and what it will be like when you spend time caring for their new sibling.
Start to open up dialogue around the birth, bringing a new baby home, and what to expect. This can encourage them to express any BIG feelings they may have, allowing you to know where to spend your playtime. This approach will help your child feel more comfortable with the upcoming changes.
Creating a Safe Play Space for Your Little One
It's important to create a special place just for your little one where they can feel safe and free to play. Involving them in setting up this space is a great way to build excitement and anticipation for their new special area. Let them help you decorate it and choose their favourite toys to put in it, ones that they don't want to share with the baby. You could even make up a password or magic handshake for entry and let your older child know that this is their “special safe space” to play when their new sibling comes home.
Spending time playing with your child in this space is a great way to create familiarity and bonding leading up to the arrival of their new sibling. This is a special time together where you can start to create games and connections to make this their special place. Encouraging independent play in this space is also important to prepare your older child for times when you may be busy with the baby and they need to play and be a child on their own.
Considering Time to Connect and Play
When a new baby arrives, your attention will naturally shift, and it's important to consider how to continue to connect with your older child. One way to do this is by setting aside time for activities that you can do together, such as playing games, roughhousing, or engaging in other fun activities.
In addition, it's a good idea to prepare a toolbox of tricks containing toys, games, and other activities that your child can do independently. This toolbox should be easily accessible to them and include both quiet and noisy activities. By doing this, you will be able to ensure that your older child remains engaged and entertained, even when you are busy with the new baby.
Spending special one-on-one time with your child in the lead up to the arrival of their sibling can give you access to their world and also alert you to their favorite games, activities, developmental stage, etc. This can help prepare you for the type of play you can engage in with them once the baby arrives. Always remember that PLAY is really the work of children, and it is what helps them make sense of their world.
If you would like to receive a copy of the Connection Village resource containing games, activities, and ideas to minimise the impact of bringing a new sibling home, please reach out to us, and we will send it to you.